I’ve had real trouble sleeping over the past few months. If only it was as romantic and poetic as Corinne Bailey Rae’s song eh?
Trust me, it’s not. The cranky, tired bag eyed morning Selina is anything but romantic and poetic. Sigh.
The problem starts with me falling asleep on the sofa most evenings, as I’m knackered from work and cooking/ tidying up etc. After an hour or two, I’ll wake up due to TV noise and begrudgingly drag myself to bed. When mustered up the strength to clean my teeth and climb under the covers, my drowsiness disappears as if some cruel spirit has hexed me. I’m now wide awake.
As I’m now wide awake, my fingers inevitably find my phone. Thus initiating my nightly routine of reading/ stalking/ watching etc until about 2am.
Around 2am my eyelids are too heavy to hold up, so I fall asleep. But that’s not the end of the story. Once asleep I usually have nightmares where I’m being chased. I am forever running away with the chaser right behind me, and I can never seem to scream, always a mute or muffled. It’s horrible.
I usually wake up about around 4am due to such dreams. I then either go back to old faithful (my phone) for some welcome distraction, or my mind starts wondering about everything I’ve done wrong in life. Starts considering what I am I meant to be doing. Things coming up at work. Nostalgia sets in. People I miss. People I shouldn’t miss. At this point if I do eventually fall asleep, it is a broken and restless slumber, with me waking up every half hour panicking I’ve missed my alarm.
The problem is this happens every night, it’s tiring. I have tried to leave my phone at the other end of the room but it makes no difference. Experts say you must keep such activity away from your bed so that your mind associates it with sleep and nothing else. This is not working for me. If the phone is not present to keep me up, it’s my thoughts, or the wind and drunk students outside. Insomnia I hear you say. But if I mention that to my doctor, all sorts of pills will be rammed down my throat and all sorts of questions about my life will be asked. I don’t really want to go down that road as GPS either don’t care and over prescribe or care too much and open up Pandora’s box.
Anyway I was just curious to see if anyone else has/ had this ‘problem’. Do you have any tips or stories you’d like to share?