july

I’ve cracked

Crrrrrrr- oh crap
Can you hear that?
Can you hear – that big old crack?
Can you see the strain beneath my smile?
My carefully manoeuvred nods and wiles
They taste like bile
To me.

Crrrrrrra- oh God.
I keep slipping up
Pull it together, don’t give the game up
Can you see the storm beneath my calm?
My restraint that’s really a form of self harm
Does that alarm
You?

Crrrrrrrac- oh dear
It fading, my veneer
I can no longer drive with a steady steer
You broke my spirit yet I tried to mend
I thought, I prayed, I played pretend
When will this end
For me?

Crrrrrrrack- oh sh*t
This is it I quit
I hiss, I spit, my soul is split
I showed you my truth and you ogled and judged
You pushed, you pulled, twisted and shoved
To think you claimed it was me you love(d)?

I’ve cracked.

I say f*ck off
To you.

 

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